19 Agustus 2009

Moving Homes - How to Make the Move With a Child

For all members of a family, moving to a new home is a big change. But for children in a family, moving homes can be an especially stressful and disorienting time. What for an adult may constitute a chance to switch up lifestyles and take on stress, for a child is a world-altering event with repercussions extending well beyond those stressful months of preparation and settling-in. As parents, one of your primary goals in attending to the needs and confusion of your child should be to create a dialogue about the move with your child. Dialogue is a useful and productive tool for creating a horizon of expectations, addressing concerns family members may have, and establishing ground territory for your family to proceed from as you continue to thrive as a unit.

Dialogue does not erase power imbalances in a family or put everyone on an equal playing field. When your household comes together to talk, it should be with the goal of allowing everyone to voice their opinions, but it should not be expected that all members will be ready to hear or provide an opinion on the move. This hesitancy is not a fault of your family's or of dialogue as a method; it is simply something that needs to be addressed. If you or one of your partners feels reluctant to express your fears in front of your kid take the pressure off of face-to-face communication by doing a trial run. Practice speaking with each other about your nervousness and worries and allow each partner ample time to express fully the anxieties that they feel. Intelligence and style do not score points in an open dialogue, one partner may be better or listening and the other and speaking, or one partner may appear to be gifted at both aspects of communication, these traits should be taken as facts of the dialogue and not as sicknesses to be cured or faults to be fixed. Once you have spoken enough with your partner, after each of you have voiced your concerns about moving and feel you can present yourselves well as parents to your child, invite your offspring into a dialogue.

For the parent/child dialogue each family's comfort level, openness, and emotiveness will vary according to the climate of the family. There is no one correct way to talk to your son or daughter about a move except for the way that seems to address the needs of the families' members best. If you feel that fully voicing your own concerns and expectations will help your child best feel at home in their new home, do so, but keep in mind that this is not the law or the goal of dialogue. While complete openness with a child may seem refreshing, it should be taken with caution. As parents, you should not lift a burden off yourselves by shifting it to your child. For example, if one of your worries is that your new home is near an area where tornadoes have hit before, it might be a poor idea to confide in your child that you are terrified of the tornados that you expect to hit. On the same token, if you are inclined towards less openness with your son or daughter, try pushing the boundaries of the dialogue just a little by admitting one or two small things that you are concerned about.

There is no single right way to conduct a move and no single right way to conduct a dialogue about moving. A benefit of starting a dialogue about moving is that it establishes trust and companionship among members of the household. If you approach talking about moving as an opportunity to enjoy your situation and come closer as a family, you will be prepared for anything the new home has in store for you.

Mr. Oliver is a marketing agent of Lifestyle Builders. The new home contractor builds and develops new homes throughout the Richmond Virginia area. For more information on their New Home Builders please visit their website.

0 komentar :